my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize