my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
Little spoons don't ask big questions
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
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