Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
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He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
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Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
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