You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
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