we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
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Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... π―πππ
Do I even want to know?
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
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