Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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