I want to make a zoo with you.
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize