turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
I licked your asshole in confidence.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize