she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize