if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
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