Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
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