I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
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