I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Randomize