you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
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