He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
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