I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
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Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
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