Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Randomize