You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize