Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Randomize