The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
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Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
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How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
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