Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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