I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
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