we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
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