Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
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