If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
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