i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
You dont lie about slip and slides
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Randomize