He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
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