Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
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