I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
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