Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize