with your own penis?
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize