ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
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