You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
two words...techno handjob
Did I show you my penis last night?
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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