Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
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Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
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