Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
I'm really busy with my period
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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