Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
We were destined to go to rehab together
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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