shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize