We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
I wish there were birth control emojis
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
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