Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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