She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
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