Already got asked if we're dating
My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
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