I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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