You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
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