he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
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My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
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She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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