i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize