I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
jump out the window naked night went bad
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
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