she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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