So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
Randomize