was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
as a side note pls kill me
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