I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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